Wat a dramatic week it has been.
On sunday, the worst fears actually came true. I foudn out he was flirting with other guys via sms and even went to the extent of going to campus to cruise. I was devastated when I saw those msgs he sent. I couldn't believe that he is also such a person. My hands trembled as I read those msgs, I wished this was all not true. I confronted him and of course it starts and ends with lotsa tears, arguments, incoherent rantings. He admitted his mistakes, he said it was a moment of folly and the childish part of him. I just could not accept his explanation. I guess the only possible explanation is I am just not good enough for him, that's why he needs more attention from other guys. I jsut could not accept that similarity he and edwin shared. At that point, I really dun wish to give him another chance, from experience, history will just repeat itself over and over again. However, I was still very concerned for him. I was worried he might not concentrate on his driving as he had a previous exoperience from his last r/s. I dun wan it to happen to him again. I just wan him to be safe and sound, thus I called Feng to keep tabs on him and ensure he's back home safely.
It pains me a lot when we were in the car and he was crying very hard and tears keep dropping onto my hand. I wanted so much to hug him tight and dry his tears but I just couldn't do it at that point in time as I was just too disappointed and angry.
Both of us went through sleepless night on monday and end up with dark rings and swollen puffy eyes from the crying. He asked me time and time againf ro another chance, I wanted to relent but I just could not let him be let off that easily. I know he's remorseful (or is he??). He did went through a lot of tears and begging, it hurts me so much to see him crying and suffering. I tot for a long while, whether he deserve a 2nd chance, whether i should give him, give me, give us another chance. I know I really love him, and I know i am still very concerned for him.
So on Tuesday, I decided to end the whole saga and give him a chance. Hopefully, I wont regret my decision later on. Hope he wont be another Edwin and let me down again. *fingers crossed*
On sunday, the worst fears actually came true. I foudn out he was flirting with other guys via sms and even went to the extent of going to campus to cruise. I was devastated when I saw those msgs he sent. I couldn't believe that he is also such a person. My hands trembled as I read those msgs, I wished this was all not true. I confronted him and of course it starts and ends with lotsa tears, arguments, incoherent rantings. He admitted his mistakes, he said it was a moment of folly and the childish part of him. I just could not accept his explanation. I guess the only possible explanation is I am just not good enough for him, that's why he needs more attention from other guys. I jsut could not accept that similarity he and edwin shared. At that point, I really dun wish to give him another chance, from experience, history will just repeat itself over and over again. However, I was still very concerned for him. I was worried he might not concentrate on his driving as he had a previous exoperience from his last r/s. I dun wan it to happen to him again. I just wan him to be safe and sound, thus I called Feng to keep tabs on him and ensure he's back home safely.
It pains me a lot when we were in the car and he was crying very hard and tears keep dropping onto my hand. I wanted so much to hug him tight and dry his tears but I just couldn't do it at that point in time as I was just too disappointed and angry.
Both of us went through sleepless night on monday and end up with dark rings and swollen puffy eyes from the crying. He asked me time and time againf ro another chance, I wanted to relent but I just could not let him be let off that easily. I know he's remorseful (or is he??). He did went through a lot of tears and begging, it hurts me so much to see him crying and suffering. I tot for a long while, whether he deserve a 2nd chance, whether i should give him, give me, give us another chance. I know I really love him, and I know i am still very concerned for him.
So on Tuesday, I decided to end the whole saga and give him a chance. Hopefully, I wont regret my decision later on. Hope he wont be another Edwin and let me down again. *fingers crossed*
posted by Leonard Kills | Thursday, October 05, 2006
1 Comments:
Sigh..
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