To my love ones

Dear Frens,

Some of you might find it very amusing or weird to see such sentimental stuff from me. However, people who knows me well know that I am actually always very thankful for frens, true frens around me. All these years, all of you have stuck around with me and for me, no matter during good or bad times. In case, some of you might think if I am suicidal or is anything wrong, answer is no. 我只是感恩！

This post serves as a big big Thank You to all my frens.

First of all to Jayce and Wendy, we have known each other for more than a decade!! OMG!! More than 10 years leh!!!! This yr will be 12 years le!!!!! WE have seen each other grown from puny teens to mature adults. We have quarrelled, fought countless times but yet, I thank God that our frenship has managed to withstand such turbulence. I thank both of you for accepting me as who I am, for sharing with me your joys and woes. I will always remember the times we spent, just sitting at kopi tiam in bishan, smoking, eating and chit chatting till the wee hours. And the time I drove to ECP for dinner and u gals had to endure the "scary" ride to and fro! Especially Wendy, for being my V Comd! Pai seh to stress you out! hee hee.

Wendy, I wish u and ur hubby a blissful marriage and may kids come your way soon~

小妹, Dunch worry, ur prince will come riding one day. Jerks will siam ur way~


Next in line, Glenn.

Glenn, I oso must thank you for your frenship for the past 6-7 years. Thank you for keeping me company at 401, at punggol park. Thank you for sharing my silly escapades, and sharing with me urs. And also thanks for your concern when I needed them. Although you are always bitching me, I know it's all in the name of fun. :D

Glenn: U've finally landed in your dream job. Fly high and dun forget the old ugly boring Leonard on Land. Heee heeee...


Hmmm.. who's next?

OF course the 3 bitches from Prudential, Lynn aka my darling, Shan and Sharon aka Pui Bitch.

wahahaha

Yes, we might be very bitchy and bad towards each other but I am very sure we do care for each other very much. Ever since we kne weach other in 2004 in Prudential, we have also came a long way. Quarrels, bitchings, arguments, fights? maybe not so much fights but u got the picture, dont you.. However, glad to say, our frenship had managed to withstand everything. We have done so many insane and sane things together. Being camwhores everywhere we go, smoking, bitching, dinner, drinks etc etc.

This yr's Xmas is so heartwarming, I wont forget how we lie on the bed and tok abt our impressions about each other and the good and bad abt each other. Thanks to u gals that I had such enjoyable Xmas. I will always keep u gals in mind whenever I go 拜拜.


Shan: thanks for being such a nice sista to me. Always listening to me (though u keep interrupting, :P), always there to keep me company when I need esp when U shifted to Hougang area. I will forever remember that time you spent the night talking to me when I was alone in HK. I will remember to mention you when I bai bai to niang niang. hee hee. I'm sorry that night I was so dead asleep that I din hear your call for help. So sorry. Promise not to switch my fone to silent anymore.


Darling: Thank you for being my 甜心cum开心果. U never fail to make me happy. I am grateful to have you in my life. Although I can be very fan and loh soh, I still thank you for your patience in listening; even though sometimes you dun pick up my calls. hee hee. Will never forget how you consoled me over the fone when I needed, how you would bitch the pple who hurt me, those might be trivial matters to you but they definitely meant a lot to me.


Bui Eh: Though out of the 3 gals here, you and me seldom keep in touch, U are still someone I would like to thank. Thank you for always being our target board and bring happiness to us. Although it has always been very troublesome to accomodate you, but we never fail to have fun after accomodating. I guess that's wat frens are for, giving and taking. Though sometimes we wish you would give in more. hee hee..


To all 3 of you, I pray hard that your 姻缘 will come soon. May the right guy come riding your way soon. If he's already here, I pray that you couples will have a blissful life ever after.


Of course I wont be forgetting the two gals from Aviva, Donna and Ah Pam. U gals have been a great pillar of support when I was in Aviva. Everytime, I had nasty customers, u gals would always be amongst the first to share my stories and ask me to go for smoke break.
Pam: Thank you for always been so accomodating towards me and thanks for being there when I need a ear to listen to my bitching. Although I wish you would come out with us more often, I also do understand ur situation. Kinda missed the times we hang out together, chatting and laffing away. remember the National Day when we went to the zoo. Remember the times we went clubbing. Remember the times we just hung out and laff whole nite.

Donna: Thank you for being my travelling buddy ever since Aviva. Thanks for always listening to my craps and also offer a listening ear and advice everytime I had problems with my baby. Thank you for everything and everything u have done and all the times we shared together like those mentioned above.

To both of u gals: I sincerely wish u all the best in all ur pursuits and all aspects of your life, work, love, wealth, health etc etc. Although I do not know which category of fren do I fall into in ur circle, I do regard u gals as part of my closest frens.

LAst but not least, to my baby.

Thanks bb for the love you have given me the past one year plus. Thank you for your patience everytime I lost my temper. Thank you for your unwavering love, trust, care and concern all these while. There are too many times and instance I wanna say Thank you to you. Although I may not be a perfect guy, I still thank you for the love you have given me. These one yr plus, we've shared many memories and I'm sure we will have more to come. Similarly, we have lots of unhappiness too but I'm glad we are able to iron things out and now, we have more goals in life we can work towards together.

Dear frens, I am sincerely thanking each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart. Of course at the same time, I wanna apologise to every one of you if there is ever a time I had hurt you in words or actions or offended you in any ways. Although I am not sure where I stand as a fren or accquaintance in your heart, but I do value and treasure each and every of you in my heart. Do leave a msg if you happen to read this posting and leave behind ur name for me to know who u r. Of course there are many pple who are important and frens to me but I cant name each and every of you one by one. Thus, everyone out there, I sincerely thank you for all the company, frenship and everything we have shared!

wahahaha
How come as I typed I felt like typing a last letter to my frens? wahahhaha.. Dunch worry, I am not going to die yet. Still gonna haunt and disturb you pple for a long long time to come.. Do I hear a lot of groans? wahahhahaha

5th October 2006

This day is a day of 3 special occasions.

1) Today marks 6 months in Aviva and my TL just informed me they will be meeting me for my appraisal in the afternoon. Hope I can make it. *fingers crossed*

2) Today also marks the end of my 2 months RT. Keeping my fingers crossed for the IPPT later too. Hope I dun fail by 10 seconds again.

3) Today is the "21st" birthday for my good fren, Fadzlin!! Happy 21st Birthday Lyn~!~!~!~!~!~! May u get lotsa fugs and monies this year!!!

Wat a dramatic week it has been.

On sunday, the worst fears actually came true. I foudn out he was flirting with other guys via sms and even went to the extent of going to campus to cruise. I was devastated when I saw those msgs he sent. I couldn't believe that he is also such a person. My hands trembled as I read those msgs, I wished this was all not true. I confronted him and of course it starts and ends with lotsa tears, arguments, incoherent rantings. He admitted his mistakes, he said it was a moment of folly and the childish part of him. I just could not accept his explanation. I guess the only possible explanation is I am just not good enough for him, that's why he needs more attention from other guys. I jsut could not accept that similarity he and edwin shared. At that point, I really dun wish to give him another chance, from experience, history will just repeat itself over and over again. However, I was still very concerned for him. I was worried he might not concentrate on his driving as he had a previous exoperience from his last r/s. I dun wan it to happen to him again. I just wan him to be safe and sound, thus I called Feng to keep tabs on him and ensure he's back home safely.

It pains me a lot when we were in the car and he was crying very hard and tears keep dropping onto my hand. I wanted so much to hug him tight and dry his tears but I just couldn't do it at that point in time as I was just too disappointed and angry.

Both of us went through sleepless night on monday and end up with dark rings and swollen puffy eyes from the crying. He asked me time and time againf ro another chance, I wanted to relent but I just could not let him be let off that easily. I know he's remorseful (or is he??). He did went through a lot of tears and begging, it hurts me so much to see him crying and suffering. I tot for a long while, whether he deserve a 2nd chance, whether i should give him, give me, give us another chance. I know I really love him, and I know i am still very concerned for him.

So on Tuesday, I decided to end the whole saga and give him a chance. Hopefully, I wont regret my decision later on. Hope he wont be another Edwin and let me down again. *fingers crossed*

i've been thinking.. thinking... wat's wrong with me, wat's wrong with the relatinship nwoadays..

I dun deny that I've been more uptight these days.. I know I've been demanding and unreasonable nowadays.. I know my temper is getting from bad to worse nowadays.. I really hope these times will go past fast.. I miss the happy and good times together..

It's only 3 months and we r already facing such problems.. Is this relationship gonna be another destined-to-fail-from-the-start relationship? I dun think so. I know I love him, I know I want him to be mine.

From the initial stage of insecurity, I guess I've moved on to feeling more secure and learnt to trust him more. "for a relationship to last, u need to have trust" How true tat is. I trust u, bb.

I seem to have becoem more and more short circuit, easily short fused these days. I'm getting scared. I"m trying hard not to blow up frequently. I scared u might become another Gerald, I din mention to you that Gerald dumped me cos of my frequent short fuses. I'm scared history will repeat. I am trying to control my temper and give in to you as much as I can. I will do my best to make it work. I'm sure it affects u as much as it did affect me on the relationship problems. Do hope we can work it out soonest.

Miss my bb everyday.

Recently

Recently, my frens told me and i also felt it.. the tension between the 2 of us has been getting more n more tense. I also realised we've been have more and more recent disagreements, unhappiness.

Just this week, we had already 2 unhappy incidents. Sigh.. It sets me thinkin.. about u, about me, about us and our relationship. Is there anything wrong? Do I not love you? or is it I love u too much?

I really dunno wat has gone wrong. I'm very affected by it too. Wat I do know is I definitely still love u, still love u as much as i do every other day, the day b4.

Can anyone gives me an answer?? I love you a lot, BB

Beautiful Love

My Fave song at this moment...

BB, this song is a testament to the love we shared..

看住时间
别让它在再流浪
从前我太适应悲伤
你的出现在无意中
却深深撼动我
一起走着没说什么
心是满足的
这个世界
随时都要崩塌
我没有其它的愿望
假如明天将消失了
趁现在我爱着
只想记得,被你抱着
温热的感受
love's beautiful
so beautiful
我失去过
更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我
被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手
不要放手
永远守护我
love's beautiful
so beautiful
我很快乐
你会了解我
我不会再哭泣
是因为我相信
我们勇敢的爱着
每秒钟
都能证明一生的美丽

这个世界
随时都要崩塌
我没有其它的愿望
假如明天将消失了
趁现在我爱着
只想记得,被你抱着
温热的感受
love's beautiful
so beautiful
我失去过
更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我
被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手
不要放手
永远守护我
oh~~~~
ah~~~
oh!!
oh~~
ah~~
oh
ah~
love's beautiful
so beautiful
我失去过
更珍惜拥有
多庆幸我是我
被你疼爱的我
紧紧牵住的手
不要放手
永远守护我
love's beautiful
so beautiful
我很快乐
你会了解我
我不会再哭泣
是因为我相信
我们勇敢的爱着
每秒钟
都能证明一生的美丽
love's beautiful
so beautiful

Hao mushy!!!!!!!

Today, after posting the entry just before this, I went to read my own blog again. I realised how mushy my post previously was. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mushy. Ah Pam told me that she read my blog today and indeed it was very mushy but then again, she finds it nice and sweet and also, once again, this is MY blog, so I can write whatever I WAN..

Wahahahahahaha

I know my B is gonna say "you xu yao so mushy ma??" But then again, it's all my true feelings and since the purpose of a blog is for people to write out their innermost feelings, so why not..

Even ah Pam thinks it's nice and sweet, I wonder wat my B thinks..

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

:P

Keys to my heart.. some true, some NOT true at all..

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Specially for my b

Before I go on, pls skip over this entry if u r not into mushy stuff, this entry is dedicated to my b so it's gonna be very very very mushy.

BB, I know u r not having a good time (although lotsa sleeping n eating n sleeping n eating), but by the time u read this, it should be over. BB, these few days u r inside I want u to know how much I miss you. U r on my mind every minute every second. Every now and then, I would take out my HP and turn on the backlights cos the wallpaper I use on my fone is u, my b. Absence makes the heart fonder?? How true it is. I also must add absence makes my heart and ur heart bond together more. I know u misses me lots too and I wan u to know how much I misses u too. I dun think I could ever describe how much I misses you, how I wish days would pass by faster then I can see you and hug you all day long. Although two days have passed, this week it felt as if 3-4 days have passed, I know it has not been easy for you either, with the training and stuff, esp the outfield on wed-thurs. Rest assured I'll always be supporting you in everything u do. Rememebr that day you told me about ur ippt results and how sad u sound on the fone, when I asked why, u said cos u have disappointed me. Let me tell u this, b, I'm very proud of you, no matter the results. I know u have done ur best and very truthfully, U have NOT disappointed me. Watever ur results, I know u have put in ur best and I will always be proud of you. VERY proud of u, in fact.

These few days, I wake up every morning to feel the love for you in me, to feel the missing of you. I then realise how deeply in love I am with you.

BB, 我真的好想好想你！！！也好爱好爱你！！！！

This is home truly~~

Dunno why, recently few of my frens are talking about getting their own homes. I have always wanted to have a home of my own too. A place, no matter how big or small, that I can call my own. I dun mind the amount of space available, be it a 1-room, 2-room, 3-room or condo etc. I just wan to have a place that I can come home to after work, with my partner there. Simple dinner, listening to music, watching tv with my partner by my side. Come home to him smiling, hugging him to sleep every nite. Putting pictures of him, and us all over the place. Some place I really can call my nest.

wahahaha

but of cos, all the above are just dreamy stuff, ideal stuff which I love to have, Simple it may sound but God knows when I can achieve that kind of dream. Looking forward to that day I can hug u to sleep every nite, b...
:P

This is home truly, where I know I must be
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home

We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo~

How about you, you you? You can come too too too~

I know this is a bit late but on this yr's national day, I had one of the most unforgettable National Day.

Met up with bb, feng and pam to go to the zoo on that day!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I was telling them, the last time I remember I went to the zoo, my cousin was still in a pram, now she's in secondary 3 or 4 already!?!?!?! wat the hell?!?!?!?! so long liao man!!!!

Anyway, we had a superb time at the zoo, taking lotsa pictures of ourselves, of the animals, watching the animal shows. Later on, will post the pictures for u pple to view. now still pending for bb to send me the fotos.

After the zoo trip, we adjourned to Aljunied Crescent for claypot rice and chicken wing dinner.
How could I ever forget to mention about these 4 crazy self high pple trying to be very very VERY patriotic.. Throughout the whole journey, we were ranting nonstop national day songs, from "We are Singapore" to "Count on me, Singapore" to "Stand up for Singapore" etc. Pple who could hear us must have tot that we have gone bonkers from the heat or too "ai guo". Guo ran...

After the sinful dinner, we decided to rush to Cosy Bay to catch the fireworks and to squeeze with tonnes of many equally sua-ku or patriotic pple. On the way there, bb who got so high couldn't stop singing. He almost wanted to wind down the window and shout "good job" to the traffic police and army personnel on duty by the road. Think the heat must have gotten to him but bb, u r so god damn cute loh.. wahahaha.. shhh.. zhen de tai rou ma le..
wahahaha

Anyway, after we managed to find a lot for xiao bai, we rushed our way to cosy bay in order not to miss the fireworks. Although I wouldn't say the fireworks were magnificent, at least the trip was worth it, with bb watching the beautiful fireworks with me and oso pam and feng beside..
wahahaha

After the whole fireworks was finally over, we made our way to xiao bai and realise that there was a massive jam!!!! And from the looks of it, we wont be out in another one hour's time. So in order to keep ourselves sane and occupied, we did more insane stuff in the car. At first,we played a singing game; all of us were to sing a song with a stipulated word in it. The first word being 我. WE had lotsa fun trying to come up with songs but soon we got bored oft his game and we end up singing national day songs AGAIN... This time round, we decided to include our frens who are not with us into our fun. First person we called was Ryan Shen, upon connection and chatting with him for a while, I put him on loudspeaker and started singing Stand up for Singapore to him. Can imagien his look at that pt of time. After him, it was Jerms follwed by Wai meng and then Lynn. All of them were bewildered, not knowing to laff or cry, listening to 4 siao kias.

It was totally hilarious.

The day ended perfectly with desserts at East Coast McCafe and a brief walk at the beach.

Thanks BB for such a wonderful day!!!
Thanks Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dear and Pampam for such great companions.

p/s: the pics will be right up soon